........WRONG!
Last year I had a spate of house guests. One of them kept changing the channel and turning the volume up to uncomfortable levels. I asked him to cease, desist, quit it even, but to no avail. It was clear that strategic action was needed, and needed immediately.
I seized control of the remote and threatened terrible things to any and all who attempted to learn the ancient art of changing the tv channel, or any other settings, manually. This knowledge became forbidden to all but me, and my first born son in what you could call a nasty case of feudal system syndrome.
Those were terrible times, my friends, and terrible things were witnessed by all. It saddened me to take such extreme action, but our hardships were overcome, and we rewarded with joyous blessings of Doctor Who, and volume that doesn't cause lasting hearing damage.
The time has come to once more fight for my remote, but this time I must fight against my own people. This time, the oppressor of the television is my own children. Never has the need for cunning and strategy been so pressing, never before has my once peaceful kingdom seen such unrest (as long as we don't mention the unmentionable party incident. Any of them)
Hard times call for hard measures, and good leaders need to be able insert cliches, willy nilly like, into absolutely everything, which I just did, so woohoo for me, and I'm completely assured that guarantees my ability to emerge from this battle victorious.
Now, if only I could remember where I hid the remote.
Sent from my iPad, which, by the way is fantastic.
